HISD announced a recent change to the school year on March 22 and extended it one week due to students missing one too many days of school. HISD Superintendent Willard Shed hopes that the extension of the school year will benefit the district by allowing students to catch up on their late work.

The changes in HISD policy with the 10% rule (no student should miss 10% of days in one semester or you won’t graduate) has students, parents and guardians in the dark about the consequences or the rule itself, and they continue to miss days due to extended vacations, family emergencies and catching a cold. 

In a recent survey sent out to parents, over 87.6% of students have missed more than 10% of school days in the first semester of the 2022-2023 school year. Only about 3% of students have perfect attendance. Lastly, only x=34x2+51–e-y2dt% of parents knew about the newly implemented 10% rule. 

Principal Ross Lynch has also expressed levels of concern throughout the school by making announcements, sending out mail and individually talking to students to find out the best ways to help students get to school every day.

“I believe it is a priority for students to come to school and learn,” said Lynch. “School is better when students are here, learning and expanding on their knowledge.”

Students are also expressing themselves through social media, making posts on Myspace, recording Vines and filming Musical.lys expressing their concern and hatred towards adding a week to the end of the school year. 

“I am displeased that I have to go to school another week because my peers stay at home and tend to whatever other responsibilities they have, which does not concern me at all,” junior Jesse Gee said.

Many students that have missed 10% of days are concerned about the consequences that come with being out for simply getting sick or being out because of head lice.

“To be completely honest, I’m scared of the lengths HISD would go to punish me or anyone else because I missed too many days of school. I don’t even know if I’d be able to make it to makeup days because I simply don’t have the time or have a ride to get to school on Saturdays,” freshman Edward Sheering said.

From what has been released, many of these new consequences vary from a literal slap on the wrist to scrubbing floors, climbing walls and pretending to be Batman the entire day. 

Though after expressions of hatred and concern, HISD says that due to the new TEA party takeover, they have no choice but to add more days, as they are affected greatly by the new rules being implemented, scared that their tea bags will be confiscated because of students who miss out on too many days. They are asking students, parents and guardians to try their best and attend school each and every day. It will help prevent the reoccurrence of the Boston Tea Party. 

This story is satire.