No chance.
That’s what I was thinking as soon as I turned in my application to St. John’s School (SJS), which is considered Houston’s premier private high school.
To begin with, I was an 8th grader at T.H. Rogers, and barely anyone from our school had gotten into SJS. I hadn’t scored well on the ISEE, the standardized test that SJS applicants must take, and I had no connections or points of contact at the school. Nevertheless, I received a letter on a warm Monday morning bearing a single message: I had gotten in.
After talking over the decision with my parents, I decided to attend St. John’s, joining the school at the beginning of my freshman year. Following my initial surprise, I decided to embrace SJS and I gave it my all, making all-out efforts to fit in. I tried to join friend groups that had existed since kindergarten, but would often get sidelined and ignored.
“Why is this happening to me? Am I not likable?” These were just some of the questions bugging me as I tried to fit in. This was where I learned my first lesson: I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I tried to change my identity and engage in hobbies I wasn’t interested in, just to potentially make some new connections.
My parents advised me to move on with my year, promising that I would eventually make friends, despite SJS being an entirely new environment. I took their advice in stride and proceeded to focus on my academics.
At SJS, I immersed myself in my courses, taking the hardest honors-level classes in math and biology despite never being the best STEM student. I learned my second lesson: rather than unnecessarily burdening myself with subjects I had no interest in, I should have used that time towards interests I’m passionate about, such as international relations and economics.
In no time, I realized that St. John’s wasn’t for me. While it was a great school, it was stressful with the hefty tuition hanging over my head. Most importantly, I felt like I didn’t fit in. I had lost touch with all of my elementary and middle school friends, and I was struggling to make new friends at a school where students had known each other since kindergarten. The confident persona that I had during 8th grade seemed distant, and I decided that it was time to make a change. When the time came, I decided to take a risk and transferred to CVHS. I lost the prestige and privilege of being an alumni at SJS but gained newfound confidence following my transfer to CVHS.
It was now sophomore year, and I started afresh at a new school. However, this time was different. Not only did I meet friends from Rogers which I hadn’t seen in over two years, but I was also able to make several new and like-minded friends. This time, I decided to challenge myself healthily, engaging in activities such as cross country and debate which I was interested in. My new friends appreciated my personality and liked me for who I was, and with this newfound confidence, I decided to go to the next level. Forming a team with some friends, I signed up to participate in the Academic WorldQuest competition, creating new memories as our team competed in Washington D.C. Not only did I rediscover my passions, but I was also able to improve my leadership abilities and skills.
I’m currently in my junior year, and as I reflect on my journey, I realize that I still have a lot to learn. Even now, I’m still figuring out how to navigate situations in my personal and social life, and it hasn’t always been smooth sailing. It can get especially difficult at a school like Carnegie, where there’s unlimited competition to be the “best” and get into the “best college.” However, whether you’re a freshman or senior, it’s important to take a moment for introspection. Rather than following a preconceived notion and being unnecessarily stressed, try to find your path, and aim to be the best version of yourself.
