We’ve all been there. Rotting in bed on a Saturday night, doom scrolling through Instagram and seeing everyone seem to have the time of their lives out with their friends. Wishing that you could be there as well.
In other words, we’ve all experienced FOMO or the fear of missing out: the anxiety or fear that an exciting event is taking place and you’re missing out on it. Often stemming from hyperconnectivity, many students resonate with FOMO due to pressures through social media, comparison culture, and most importantly, a burning desire to belong. When taking a step back, a question can be posed:
How often do individuals knowingly trade their peace for the illusion of inclusion?
Personally, I have dealt with FOMO throughout my entire life. From being unable to attend my friend’s 8th birthday party when I was younger to seeing individuals I know out on a Saturday night while I am home alone, I’ve almost always fallen into this trap of comparing myself to others. FOMO became an amplified case in my life when I got social media in 7th grade. All of a sudden, I had a front-row seat to witnessing the highlights of everyone else’s life–vacations, hang-outs with friends, relationships—they all unfolded in front of my eyes as I watched from, behind a screen. The more I scrolled, the more I felt that I was somehow less then the people I watched on the screen. I was missing out, not just on events, but experiences that seemed to define their lives and relationships. I realized that it wasn’t just me wanting to be there with them, but it was more about how it made me feel; like I was falling behind. I started questioning my self worth. Why was I so lame? Did I not have any friends? How come everyone was living it up except for me?
Platforms like Instagram and Tiktok allow individuals to solely post the best part of their lives whether it be parties, achievements, or vacations. Scrolling through my feed, I would subconsciously berate myself for being a loser.
These questions would often cause me to compare my life to a highlight reel that I perceived to be the reality of others. The constant incoming content that social media pushed on me kept me trapped in a never-ending loop, making me constantly feel like I was missing something. This led to me dealing with psychological factors such as comparison culture, validation seeking, and fear of exclusion, thus leading to FOMO. This severely impacted my mental health as it caused dissatisfaction with my own life formulating anxiety and burnout. I found myself creating unhealthy habits from these feelings as I started to neglect my own priorities to overcommit to things that work to prevent me from experiencing FOMO, even if it was just for a little bit. I was constantly spreading myself too thin, saying yes to everything, for fear that I would miss out on something if I said no or couldn’t go. I was increasingly craving validation from my subconscious and social media that I too was going out. Most importantly, I wanted to show individuals that used to be like me that I had a life worth comparing their own too.
However, sophomore year, I realized that I couldn’t live in this constant stage of agitation and experienced a mindset switch. I started considering the cause of my issues to be the fact that I was never alone. I was constantly in the company of others because my subconscious had me wired to believe that being alone was equivalent to being a loser who didn’t have any friends. I coined the term alone time in my household. I would say that I’m having alone time whenever I want to be left alone and decompress. While this felt weird at first, it has now become something that I can’t live without. It allows me the chance to spend time with myself and become comfortable with who I am rather than society’s expectations of me. In addition to this, I partook in other ways to overcome and limit FOMO’s impact on my life.
(Nicholas Trackman, Vaani Gupta) (Anna Lo)
For one, I took a digital detox and did a digital refresh. Taking a break from social media and reconnecting with reality outside of it really allowed me to appreciate my own life and the blessings around me. I also did a digital refresh. Refreshing my social media feed to reflect positivity which was extremely helpful as it allowed me to experience a perspective shift because I began to focus on the blessings of my own reality.
In addition, I can say I overcame FOMO by embracing JOMO: Joy of Missing Out. I realized that there is peace in saying no and enjoying time alone can be key to maintaining positive mindfulness in life. Other practices alongside JOMO that I did include journaling and meditation to stay present and grateful.
Overcoming FOMO has greatly improved my life. I find happiness knowing that I am at peace with myself. Prioritizing your own overall well-being rather than fleeting moments that always lead you wanting more has truly changed my life for the better. This doesn’t mean that you can never go out; it simply means that you can choose what you want to do all while remaining guilt free regardless of the choice. It is better to remain present and where it matters rather than attempt to be everywhere.
