Photo credits: Carolina Gallardo

My friends and I enjoy a birthday party (Erin Torres, Vaani Gupta, Anna Lo, Mari Sakai) Photo Credits:

We’ve all been there. Rotting in bed on a Saturday night, doom scrolling through Instagram, watching everyone seeming to have the time of their lives out with their friends. Wishing that you could be there too.

In other words, FOMO – the anxiety or fear that an exciting event is taking place and you’re missing out on it – is a common experience. Often stemming from hyperconnectivity, FOMO resonates with many students due to the pressures of social media and the persistent feeling of not being enough. Most importantly, they experience this burning desire to belong. This leads to an underlying yet inevitable question: How often do individuals knowingly trade their peace for the illusion of inclusion?

I have dealt with FOMO my entire life. From being unable to attend my friend’s eighth birthday party when I was younger to seeing the Instagram posts of individuals I know out on a Saturday night while I am home alone, I’ve almost always fallen into the trap of comparing myself to others. However, the influence of FOMO became amplified in my life when I got social media in seventh grade. All of a sudden, I had a front-row seat to the highlights of everyone else’s life – vacations, hang-outs with friends, relationships – they all unfolded in front of my eyes, which were glued to the screen. The more I scrolled, the more I felt that I was somehow less than the people I watched on the screen. I believed I was missing out on not just events, but experiences that seemed to define other people’s lives and relationships. I realized that it wasn’t just me wanting to be there with them. It was how it made me feel – like I was falling behind. I started questioning my self-worth. Why was I so lame? Did I not have any friends? How come everyone but me was living it up? 

Platforms like Instagram and TikTok allow individuals to post the best parts of their lives whether parties, achievements, or vacations. Scrolling through my feed, I would subconsciously berate myself for being a loser as I watched the lives of those around me flourish while mine seemed to do the opposite.

This continuous self-loathing often caused me to compare my life to a highlight reel that I perceived to be reality. The constant flow of incoming content that social media pushed on me kept me trapped in a never-ending loop, making me constantly feel as though I were missing something. This led to my falling victim to psychological factors such as comparison culture, validation seeking, and fear of exclusion, which culminated in full-blown FOMO severely impacting my mental health by causing dissatisfaction with my own life and formulating anxiety and burnout. I found myself creating unhealthy habits from these feelings as I started to neglect my own priorities to overcommit to things that would work to prevent me from experiencing FOMO, even if for just a little bit. I was constantly spreading myself too thin, saying yes to everything, for fear that I would miss out on something if I said no. I increasingly craved the validation from my subconscious and social media that I too was going out. Most importantly, I wanted to show individuals that used to be like me that I now had a life worthy of comparing theirs to. 

However, by my sophomore year, I realized that I couldn’t live in this constant stage of agitation. My mindset switched. I started to consider that the cause of my issues was the fact that I was never alone. I was constantly in the company of others because my subconscious had me wired to believe that being alone was equivalent to being a loser who had no friends. I coined the term “alone time” in my household. I would say that I’m having “alone time” whenever I want to be left alone as I would decompress. While this felt weird at first, it has now become something that I can’t live without. It allows me the chance to spend time with myself and become comfortable with who I am rather than society’s expectations of me. In addition, I have partaken in other ways of overcoming FOMO’s impact on my life. 

For one, I took a digital detox and did a digital refresh. Taking a break from social media in order to reconnect with reality outside of it really allowed me to appreciate my own life and the blessings around me. I also did a digital refresh to my social media feed so that it now reflects positivity. This refresh has been extremely helpful in allowing me to experience a shift in perspective because I can now focus on the blessings of my own reality.

In short, I can say I overcame FOMO by embracing JOMO: the Joy of Missing Out. I have come to realize that there is peace in saying no, that enjoying time alone can be key to maintaining positive mindfulness in life. In addition to JOMO, I also practice journaling and meditation to stay present and grateful.

Overcoming FOMO has improved my life in great but simple ways. I now find happiness knowing that I am at peace with myself. Prioritizing my own well-being over fleeting moments that always lead me to want more has changed my life for the better. This doesn’t mean that I – or you – can never go out; it simply means that we can choose what we want to do, all while remaining guilt-free regardless of the choice. Remaining present – where it matters – is always going to be better than attempting to be everywhere.