1600.
The numbers every high school student dreams of seeing on their screens at least once in their life. As Carnegie Vanguard High School’s school-wide SAT approaches, juniors are worried sick about how they could possibly earn a perfect score. However, all the tips and tricks one might need to excel on the April 1st SAT are accessible to all students. This ultimate guide is the best way to study to get a 1600 on the April SAT.
Memorizing Vocal Stims
One of the most effective ways to achieve a 1600 on the SAT is to memorize TikTok vocal stims. Repeating the phrase “Beefing with my chick while I am in jail” ten times on test day will improve brain function while taking the test. Remember, the SAT tests on who the creator of each vocal stim is, so be sure to study the original videos as well. Another popular vocal stim that is new to the SAT is “I wish I could get a free bag of chips.” To get an amazing SAT score, students have to replace the “bag of chips” part of the sentence with the score they want. Then they have to say the phrase in the same pitch, tempo, and cadence as the original vocal stim. Memorizing and studying these vocal stims is a one-way ticket to get a perfect score. However, study what results each vocal stim provides.
Baby Boo and Remixes
Arguably, the most important way to study for the SAT is to memorize “She gonna call me Baby boo” alongside all the remixes. “She gonna call me baby boo” is a lyric from popular NBA YoungBoy and Mellow Rackz song, What you is. This song, although it might seem like it has nothing to do with the SAT, is essential to getting a great score. The portion of the song where “she gonna call me baby boo” is repeated multiple times with clapping in the background holds the answer to everything in the universe hidden in secret code. Before and on test day, it is essential to gather with classmates and sing “she gonna call me baby boo” several times to understand the questions on the SAT. By singing this, you are guaranteed to get the question 100% right. To ensure maximum knowledge is gained from this experience, singing the baby boo remixes will help retain all knowledge. The best baby boo remixes to study for the SAT are: The Beyonce riff baby boo version, Midnight sun baby boo, and Beethoven baby boo.
Edits, Edits, Edits
Problem solving, analyzing, and critical thinking are all important skills that are tested on the SAT. The best way to practice these skills is by watching and analyzing edits. From movie edits to sports edits, students have a wide range of edits to study before they take the SAT. The unpatched method to study edits is by searching up edits on TikTok and doom scrolling. From an outside perspective this might seem ridiculous, but by doom scrolling you are unconsciously utilizing analysis and critical thinking skills. The best edit to watch is the Heated Rivalry featuring the Megan thee Stallion song Big Ole’ freak.
For last-minute studying, say 67, sing “ party at the beach down at Copacabana” and to finish off scuba at your computer fifty times. All of these tips and tricks are elite ball knowledge and will guarantee you the best score ever. Don’t forget your study methods and good luck on your exam.
This story is satire.
