In the new year of 2026, the new implementation of smart water filtration system has drastically improved Carnegie Vanguard High School’s (CVHS) water quality in the span of one day. Many students are flabbergasted and amazed by the new, heavenly taste of the water fountains. The water filters had been a huge problem at the school since day one, and it has not been fixed.
At exactly 6:07am on February 14, 2026, CVHS had officially announced the replacement of the water filters with the new smart water filters that have been programmed by AI to enhance the taste of the water at the school. Their reason for implementation was for better qualities and that students would stop getting sick. Students have been anticipating the placement of a new water filter for 21 years, and now the coming of the newly created and improved smart water has made students excited.
“Before, the rusty, algae taste of the water was just unbearable. But now, the new water system is absolutely divine. My taste buds could really jump in joy for the first time in my entire life as I quenched my thirst. I came to school dreading the work, but now I have an actual reason to come”, says William Phibz, a senior at CVHS.
Posters were placed all around the hall, and everyone started posting about the new event all over Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat. Students really couldn’t be more happy with the news that had come to the school on such a normal day.
“The school’s water tastes absolutely peak now. There’s finally no more people stealing my water from me anymore. Usually, I have to bring a million water bottles filled with ice just for everyone”, Phibz says.
Along with the praise, many claimed the water to have evolved into a new sort of substance. Almost as if it has gained a new flavor with excitingly good taste to the students.
“Is this bubble-gum flavored or what? Yeah. This water tastes even better than the water with the 6 ice cubes handed to me after a million years of my thirst not being quenched in the desert after our running drills back when I was a little kid”, stated the teacher of the Physiological psychology class, Mr. Rayasianboy II.
With huge pride for the new water system, the school has documented this unforgettable moment into the school records along with their achievements of this school year. For a stretch of 30 years, the school can now announce something worth saying to all the students.
“I would really like to thank everyone for giving us the opportunity to put in place our highly, most successful, and delightful smart water fountain. Despite the confusion and trauma, we are so glad to have had our grand presentation of the new water,” Student and Co-leader of the most Outstanding of the Outstanding club Trisha Marielago affirms.
However, a protest had risen among the crowd of students, demeaning the water of its now highly substantial value in the school. People are contemplating whether they will accept the decision or fight back against the implementation of the new water filtration system.
“Go drink your own water at your own house. This school water is definitely still contaminated. After obtaining the Bubonic plague within 0.06 hours of drinking that, I’m never having that touch me ever in my life again. I don’t want a single atom or molecule of that water within a 6 foot radius from me”, claims sophomore Wally Wu.
As an opposition, students began to riot against what the water actually means in terms of its value within the school. People have begun questioning themselves and others whether they really do understand the water or not.
“What are these people even saying? What’s going on? It’s like they actually think the water is acting as a 3-in-1 shampoo, except it’s a 1,000 year mutation of the Ebola, Marburg, and COVID-19 virus all in one. Now I’m just getting confused”, freshman Robert Robertson states.
Furthermore, many are attempting to intervene or resist the new implementations of the water system. Whether it’s to revert back to the old filter or to completely remove the water fountains, students are not backing down.
“Why don’t they just remove the water filter? There’s no point because all we literally do is just stare at our chrome-books or a piece of paper all day. In the olden days, we used to drink water from a garden hose. Why not do it now? There’s a reason why our immune systems are so bad now”, states Robertson.
Although the school has worked hard to invent and implement the new filter, students are discussing and contemplating. As a popular belief among the students, many will still speculate the situation in different perspectives: supportive or traumatized.
This story is satire.
