“Ancient Apocalypse” proves aliens are real


Rinn Wilson

Very real footage from “Ancient Apocalypse”

The aliens built the pyramids, and you cannot convince me otherwise. “Ancient Apocalypse” is an absolute 100/10 as a show; in fact, I would rank it as one of Netflix’s finer works. As an avid lover of Ancient Aliens for finally speaking the truth of our culture, I appreciate this honest documentary about ocean people rising from the depths. However there has been criticism on the other side, mostly having to do with how this isn’t “real” or that this is spreading “misinformation.”

“Ancient Apocalypse” is presented by Graham Hancock, who is famously known for being an author, pseudoscientist and a journalist. He is known within the community to uphold great honor to destroy the fundamental ways archeologists have been lying, just like how the world seems to silence the truth about our flat earth. What a world we live in.

Each episode goes from location to location, visiting multiple ancient sites. Some of the locations are places such as Texcotzingo, an ancient Aztec botanical garden, and Xochicalco, an ancient site that not much is known about besides its two pyramids. A reasonable person may perhaps assume that these were built by the ancient natives of the land, but of course, I am no reasonable person. Why would there ever be such a concept? No, it was built by ancient people thousands of years ago during a large ice age, because that makes more sense, according to Hancock himself. 

We stan Graham Hancock. (The Telegraph, edited by Rinn Wilson)

The largest argument against Hancock’s claims is that science proves him wrong. Well, apparently, science also sent a man to the moon, but that’s not real now, is it? What science really did was CGI effects and grand illusions. The mainstream narrative loves lying about UFOs and aliens, after all. 

Sure, they have been an occupation with science that supposedly backs their theories such as C-14 carbon dating — but that’s obviously just a lie. Sure, sources state that it goes through a process in which “the carbon dioxide formed in the combustion stage is heated in the presence of pure lithium metal, which produces lithium carbide.” But if you ask me, that’s a bunch of baloney. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. 

“Ancient Apocalypse” doesn’t just give us undeniable proof that there are connections back to Atlanteans, but aliens as I will be showing. Although Hancock may not fully understand the possibilities of aliens being a part of this grand scheme, I hoped to be able to give a different perspective that allowed aliens the chance to give their two cents. 

Not a backyardigan, a very real alien. (Rinn Wilson)

Here is Antiqua чужак, an alien from a lost civilization reporting in to talk about the misinformation you might have been familiar with. чужак has been to multiple planets, such as Mars, Saturn, Ur-anus and, of course, Earth. They used to live in Area 51 after moving from Egypt where they were found by the CIA, before deciding they wanted a change of scenery and requested to live at NASA. This is how I was able to obtain such a high-stakes interview; I broke into the space tech community, of course. 

“да, я люблю океан, 사실 나는 그곳에서 짧은 시간 동안 살았습니다. 我見過很多人住在那裡,人們很愚蠢地不相信, (Yes, I love the ocean; actually I lived there for a short time. I’ve seen a lot of people live there, and people are stupid to not believe it),” чужак said. 

What чужак says supports the fact that Atleans totally exist, and that “Ancient Apocalypse” is valid. In fact, their best friend is an Atlantean called Pablo πιγκουίνος. This ancient man allowed me to interview him, happily accepting the invitation to talk about the culture that exists.

“homines cogitare sum ‘atlantean’ sed eris honestus … sum sicut mare bovem, (People think I’m ‘Atlantean’ but you’ll be honest… I’m just a sea cow,)” πιγκουίνος said.

Although we had a rough time translating, I believe fully that he had said something great about Atlanteans. The white, heterosexual, cisgender species tend to keep to themselves, however. And upon further questioning, πιγκουίνος left without a signal, but they said something about Hancock being a “troublesome foe to humanity,” which I believe was actually a compliment to Ancient Apocalypse. 

чужак & πιγκουίνος hanging out in the very real Atlantis. (Rinn Wilson)

“Ehrlich gesagt ist Hancock ein Genie. Er versteht Aliens und Atlanter auf eine Weise, wie es niemand tut… Gelmişekler hakyky. Gelmişekler hakyky. Sanjymlar galpdyr. Adamzat hakykata ynanýanlara sütem etdi, (Honestly, Hancock is a genius. He understands aliens and Atlanteans in a way no one else does… Aliens are real. Vaccines are fake. Mankind has oppressed those who believe in the truth,)” чужак said.

In the end, чужак and their friend πιγκουίνος prove to us that the reviews and outlandish claims that “Ancient Apocalypse” was misleading are ridiculous. Sure, people continue to believe in the falsities that litter science, but we know the truth. It cannot be denied that our Atlantean ancestors have left us signs of their past. 

One final thing that I took away from the presentation that Hancock masterfully described was that our sea breathing brothers from centuries ago left us signs in the stars. From locations visited proving that even though it could be argued that sites such as Göbekli Tepe & Karahan Tepe are aligned to allow most sunlight in, I fully believe that they were in fact tracking a specific constellation instead. Sure, it’s two degrees off, but that shifts with centuries of time, and thousands and thousands of years would give the Atlanteans ample time to assemble the structures. 

You can tell me that I am wrong, that there are “logical” explanations for everything. But I’m sure that’s what you want me to believe! You are brainwashed like the rest of the United States of America government, and you cannot convince me otherwise. 


This story is satire.